Creating a wedding gift listCreating the perfect gift list

Things have changed since your parents’ wedding day. Many brides and grooms used to move straight from Mum and Dad’s house into the marital abode. To set up home they added all the staples to their wedding gift list: sheets, pots and pans, glasses and perhaps the obligatory toaster. 

Some couples ask for donations towards their honeymoon

Today the majority of engaged couples in the UK already live together (often with children) so it’s likely you already have a well-stocked home with all the basic household items.

Because of this, today’s wedding lists are much more flexible. Though you may decide it’s a great opportunity to update your home with fresh new linens – or perhaps that formal set of china you always coveted – many couples are refusing to limit themselves to traditional gift ideas. After all, why ask for a fondue set if you’re never going to use it?

Gift ideas

Luxury items

There’s a big trend towards requesting luxurious gifts you perhaps couldn’t justify buying for yourself, such as designer home items, high-tech kitchen gear, entertainment gadgets, garden furniture or even fine wines. 

This works best with lists where the money goes towards vouchers or into an account – instead of each guest buying a gift for a particular price – meaning you can splurge on larger or more expensive items.

Honeymoon fund

Some couples ask for donations towards a once-in-a-lifetime honeymoon trip. Others request funds to help with a house renovation or purchase, a garden makeover or even a trust fund for their children. Some couples want vouchers for extravagant experiences, such as hot air balloon rides, scuba lessons or even a relaxing and romantic spa weekend.

Donations to charity

An approaching wedding makes some couples reflect on how lucky they are – and decide to give something back. There are wedding lists for charitable giving, from traditional charities such as Marie Cure Cancer Care to more unusual ideas, such as goats or bicycles for families in the developing world.

Eco-conscious couples might choose a ‘green’ wedding list with earth-kind and fair-trade presents or donations to environmental and conservation charities.

No thanks

Some couples don’t want any gifts. Really. If you truly don’t, consider a subtle note to that effect on the invitation. Keep in mind that some people will not be able to resist buying you something, so you might want to give details of your favourite charity as well.

Gift-list etiquette

Keep gift list etiquette in mind. Your main focus should be your guests’ presence – not their presents. A wedding list isn’t meant to bully guests into buying. It’s simply a practical way to help guide them towards gifts you can actually use – and to lessen your chances of having to exchange five toasters.

Spread the word

Today, most couples include gift list details with the invitations, but a few guests may find this off-putting or even tacky (consider withholding the notification card from the envelopes of guests you suspect might object). 

Alternatively, you could simply note ‘Contact X if you would like wedding list details’ but that does mean extra admin in passing along the information.

Price range

Ensure your list includes a good range of prices, from very affordable items to large gifts your guests can club together to purchase. Register for more gifts than the number of guests, so late buyers won’t feel pressurised into buying something they wouldn’t have chosen (or cannot afford).

List, what list?

It’s almost inevitable some guests will go ‘off list’ – whether because they want to buy you a very personal gift or simply because they don’t like being told what to do. Whether or not you like every gift, it’s vital you send a thank you card – and try to make it sound sincere.