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Discussing dementia care options

If your loved one has dementia, you may need to take a different approach to discussing care options.
3 min read
In this article
Dementia care options Suspected dementia Diagnosed dementia
If you're acting on behalf of someone else

Dementia care options


Dementia is not just about memory loss – it can also cause people’s behaviour to change and affect their judgement. They may become confused, angry or find it difficult to make decisions. They might not understand what is going on, or be able to remember why they need to sell their house, get a full-time carer or move into a care home.

Suspected dementia

If you suspect that your loved one has dementia, but you’re not sure, they should see their GP as soon as possible about diagnosing dementia. This will help you both to decide on the best course of action and make it easier to plan for the future. There are also some great organisations that can give you advice and support, such as the Alzheimer’s Society.


Alzheimer's Society

A charity aimed at improving the lives of people living with dementia.

Alzheimer's Society

Online community to get advice, share experiences and connect with others:

Talking Point

National Dementia Helpline:

0300 222 1122


Mon–Wed, 9am–8pm; Thu and Fri, 9am–5pm; Sat and Sun, 10am–4pm

If you have speech or hearing difficulties and have a textphone or an adapted computer, you can use Text Relay to call our helpline on:

18001 0300 222 1122


If your family member or friend doesn't already have a Power of Attorney in place, and they still have good judgement (legally termed ‘mental capacity’), they should get one set up as soon as possible, so that they can appoint someone that they trust to make important decisions about the future on their behalf. Read more about how to set up a Power of Attorney in our guide to organising financial affairs.


Diagnosed dementia

If your loved one already has a dementia diagnosis, and is displaying signs of confusion or memory loss, it may not be possible for them to make some decisions about the future, particularly major decisions about finances, accommodation or health. The level of involvement that they can have depends on what stage they are at in their illness.


If your loved one clearly doesn’t understand the options available to them, or the implications of their decisions, you or another close relative may have to step in to make the decisions that you feel are in their best interests.  


Even if you have to make decisions on a relative’s behalf, you should always include them by explaining clearly what is happening. Where possible, give simple choices and ask for their preferences so that you (or whoever has Power of Attorney) can take their wishes into account.

If you're acting on behalf of someone else

If you’re an appointed attorney for someone, you are legally required to always act in their best interests, which is what you would want anyway.


In practice, a ‘best interests’ decision is not simply what you think is best for them. You should also consider the person’s past and present views, wishes or feelings. Weighing this all up, and trusting that you’ve made the right decisions, can be a difficult process.  


Depending on the decisions that need to be made, you might need to consult other people in your loved one’s ‘support network’. For example, you might want to ask advice from other family members, their social worker, doctor, solicitor or financial adviser.

Which? Wills
Prepare your Power of Attorney with Which? Wills from only £69.50 (usually £139 per document). Offer ends 30 June 2019.

Further reading

Last updated: 08 May 2019